Feeling all out at sea. Photo: JA Amore

Ok, so I’m new at this freelancing caper. So after yet another day of procrastination I decided to jump and register myself on a couple of freelancer sites, you know the one’s which promise you can make money using your skills, talents, etc, etc?

Well the process sounded simple enough, but quickly I started to feel a little lost (hence the picture above, lost at sea). After asking me to pay them to set-up a profile I was a little dubious. Ok, so it’s only 0.33cents, but that alone made me wonder how much the pay rate was.

Good question…

Photo by Wade Lambert on Unsplash

Question…What do you do when you’re not sure how to interact with the world anymore? Surely there must be an instruction book or a guide? There’s a lot of things I no longer understand.

Answer. Definitely don’t do what I did and Google it…For example — 1. Lower your expectations was the first thing that appeared. Not quite what I had in mind, but it did give me food for thought (after I mowed through a block of chocolate, hey at least it was dark chocolate with health benefits right?)…

This past 18 months since COVID reared its ugly head…

Let me speak…even if it takes time, please don’t talk over me

Personality test required as part of job application (listed as a ‘workplace benefit’ alongside leave entitlements). As a quiet person (aka introvert), I find this a bit of a stretch.

This line in a job advert and potential “job benefit” scares me. Not just slightly — completely, yikes. Is this type of request normal? Or is it designed to scare off people like me? It makes applying for a job even more difficult, as it sounds like they already have a personality type in mind and as far as I’m concerned that is definitely not me!

It seems the further…

Photo by Sven Brandsma on Unsplash

There’s an old saying in my family, “only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty”. I wish the honest truth was more valued. So much of the time the smoke and mirrors of life I find so confusing. Which has bought me to this point, I am starting to question the very fibers of my being.

At this very moment, I feel raw, ripped and exposed to the wind. At time it stings my eyes and creates an inner havoc, a longing I suppose. A need for answers to the big questions…Why am I here? Where…

Photo by Fabian Burghardt on Unsplash

I’ve leant an important lesson this past week, some people have an intrinsic need to exert control over others, especially if they lack empathy and healthy boundaries. An example would be doing things to or for people that are unnecessary and unwanted (whilst ignoring the wishes of the individual like your opinion doesn’t count). In my head it’s not quite gaslighting, but enough to sew seeds of doubt that you’re not quite sure if madness might be slowly creeping into your life and you start to question what is happening.

I guess there’s a couple of ways to look at…

Thanks Box for being my rock at base camp even if most of the time you’re snoring (photo: author’s own)

I’m still at base camp…but that’s ok.

I must admit when I was thinking about what to write for this article I was torn. Last week I submitted my first one as I am brand new to freelance writing. Now I’m in week two and a 1/2, I’m coming to realize that there are many ways you can look at the difficulties of starting a new career (one you feel is a huge mountain)…you can either pack up and go home after being knocked back, or use the knocks to harden your personal armor into a shield.

Truth be told…

Julie Amore

Writer in training and all rounder

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